How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Girls should come with a carfax report
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
