I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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