I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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