If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize