what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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