I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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