this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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