haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
