how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
