I feel like abortions should bother me more
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
