You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
