Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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