My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
