i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
