I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
