3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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