Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
