I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
