I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
