whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
someone owes me an orgasm
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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