just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
