My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
