Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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