You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
