this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
