You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize