What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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