her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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