im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
