you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
