Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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