I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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