No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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