can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
