Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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