Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
