So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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