And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
