she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
