She is in my trunk
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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