At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
