How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think my vagina is haunted
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can't turn off my feet"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
