Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
