okay pat passed out under dana's car
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
