I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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