When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
