Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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