Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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