You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
