10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
