my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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