OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
