He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
