all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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