is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
