I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
