i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
