yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
