whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
