What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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