And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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