Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
