he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize