I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
