literally had 100 drinks last night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
