The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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