it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
