Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
