the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
